Be more dog

Man's best friend… or genetically modified killer with Stockholm syndrome? Either way my Mum's new cocker spaniel is delightful and loves bounding around. But as my Mum says, "he ain't half a handful at times!"

It can't be a bad life living on chardonnay carrots and branded jelly beans. I can't help wondering if the canine race are actually the most intelligent beings in the universe (much like mice in Hitchhikers Guide). There's a remote possibility that they have been around for billions of years, touring the galaxies in search of the perfect slaves to feed them, walk them and spoil them rotten.

Right guys, everyone just keep your mouths shut and we can engineer the best quality of life imaginable!

The ruse even goes as far as self-sacrifice to human abuse for the canine greater good!! Or maybe I'm crazy.

I wonder what he named me.